some dope sh*t

oh man. i found the best thing i've seen on etsy in a long time! Crocheted baby birkenstocks!

Heather's Treasure Box.

Ya Heather! I just sent her a 'convo': You're a genius!

She also has little knitted cowboy boots, hiking boots, brown WORK BOOTS, bowling shoes, converse of course..but better yet! LILAC converse (just like in Marie Antoinette - there is that momentary flash under all the frippery & finery. An Anachronism. Dunst wore them the whole shoot underneath all of those beautiful cake gowns)

a friend of a friend - laura jane's friend - Emily - is sailing around the world! 24 years old. She has a fantastical project and fantastical voyage planned. Read it all about it! Godspeed to her! I pledged and i will get a present in the mail. She was a genius about the fundraising. For every $1, $5, $10, $15 - $5,000 she offered a generous thank you - sending out polaroids from her voyage, whistles, sailor hats, origami sailboats and so forth upping the ante.

Let's Sail Around The World!

(interesting to note: she is 24. To circumnavigate the world: $24,000 miles. She would like to do this in 24 months)

My birthday is coming up: September 24, 2009. Notes to Selves. Post-it Notes To Selves.
I will not cry on my birthday this year. I promise myself.
(still finishing my book: The Selves)

NUMBERS!

And lastly, my beautiful friend Amanda recommended a book:

A book I read this summer that you may like is: The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/14/fiction3?gusrc=rss&feed=books

There is an analyst in Paris who prescribes the book to her patients instead of anti-depressants!

nice!

PS MJ was signed on to do 50 shows and he died at 50.
i will suggest something very dumb right now. I will suggest Twilight Zone theme song kick in.

farrah, tatum o'neal, paper moon, the room etc.

pictures: Youngest Best Supporting Actress winner: 10-year-old Tatum O'Neal, Paper Moon (1973),Farrah in The Burning Bed and Extremities, and dad/womanizer etc Dad Of The Year Award goes to.....RYAN O'NEAL!

the weirdest thing happened last nite after reading the 'farrah' VF article. it's messed. and what's-his-pickle ryan o'neal: what a MESS. publicly declaring that you 'hate' your children but then again admitting he's the worst father on the planet and that he blames himself for farrah's cancer.

SO. shortly thereafter

i was surfing around on youtube lookn for some 'the room' footage and found this gem instead:

Ryan O'Neal from a Norman Mailer (!?) directed movie: Tough Guys Don't Dance worst line reading ever!!

truly

a strange coincidence. a very strange coincidence (refraining from using 'coinky-dink')

maybe some of you have seen this. it has been viewed around 800,00o times. or more.

i was actually hunting down "The Room" footage which has now been named 'the citizen kane of bad movies'

i can't wait to watch it. nadiya said she was laughing so hard she got lockjaw or sumthin like that. she's an actor, so she KNOWS THIS SHIT. plus she worked at blackdog video for awhile and she knows EVERYTHING about movies.

PS tatum was arrested even last year for buying crack off a homeless guy. so yes. ryan o'neal's children are all in and out of jail. he's awesome. AND he's sorry. tatum apparently hated farrah. and apparently melanie griffith was the one who took tatum as a young child to some hollywood orgy and corrupted her...plus her dad got her into opium. etc LIST GOES ON. etc etc etc. Melanie Griffith is super messed. i saw a pic of her at coachella whatever stupid music fest looking totally forlorn and alone in a really bad 'hippie outfit' (replete w/ headband, of course). god, it was so sad.

Autobio note: yes. everything thot i looked like tatum as a tot.

WHAT THE WORLD/NEEDS NOW/IS MARV/SWEET MARV

Kind thanks to the Sea Of Tea for this unbelievable documentary:MARVS of the Yukon - A Mediatation. Starring MARVIN (from the pound. Resuced by JennyBen), special guest appearance: ALICE. Created by: Candice Tarnowski. Debuting at this year's Toronto International Film Festival.

enjoy!
(my friend maya was wearing a tshirt in that coca-cola-coke font: Enjoy Weed!. i was laughing. i know you know it but the context was perfection).





Btw..sitting here in the incredulous montreal freezing my ass off. it's freezing out! i haven't had to wear pants in 4 months - dresses only. NOW. OVER. oh well. i get to drag out the lavender frye boots again..oh and my pink boots (pink pearl eraser pink. i have two pairs. one near destroyed). wait a minute. what am i talking about? thru chilly season - which in Toronto is 8.5 months of the year - I wear the same pair of jeans day in day out.
i just had a cappuccino made for me by the number one barista in the country. 'cafe myriad' on mackay near concordia for coffee lovers. supreme.
and i'll probably go get some 'macro' thing at aux vivres which'll be my 3rd or 4th trip there this week. i, like marvs, am a creature of habit.

AND i need to finish this book.

harkening back on earlier 'kork-ease' posts..i did end up writing my complaint letter on the construction/craftmanship of the sandal. i've had to get them re-built by a professional. It's very important to complain. It helps the world and makes it better. it's like an art school CRIT. ya know?
PS
harkening back on even earlier posts: MARVIN has showed up on this here blog over time. i have another VID of him attempting to clean himself while My Tunes are playing in the background ("Spaceship Superstar" by Prism). i'll post it later-skater. One of my nicknames for marvs is 'dinkus'. cos that's what he is. he wont let anyone pick him up or cuddle him which is ALL you want to do with that muppet and cotton fur with pissed off expresh of all time. He just runs away from you..skuttles out of the room. Audi-500. now i know why people make stuffed animals.

getting ready to start possibly considering thinking about kickin' ass

These are dik-diks! Look at that lil anteater-type snout! what's that for? they are vegans.
tiny, mini. they weight 1.5lbs @ birth
why is this the world? Deaf Leopard: "Hmmm. I think i'mhungry. i'll pick myself up a dik-dik & a vid @ Pic-A-Flic. Back in a flash". (Look @ that Asshole Expression. I've seen that face before).

Dear God: Don't ever hurt these animals. i mean it.
I'm going to Africa so we can all hang out. walk on our hind legs. together.

not. i'm lying down on the couch w/ my hot laptop. staying up way past bedtime. fkn megavideo cut me off mad men S3E2. to be frank, i was falling asleep. i'm a lil worried. SPOILER ALERT. it's waning. i dont know what they're doing. something isn't right. i dont know what they're NOT doing. of course it's too early to tell. they're setting everything up..but by season 3, these series tend to start going a lil sideways. it's the egos and the money by that point. suddenly betty is the star. that's fine..i'm just sayin'.

and.
True Blood. I can barely be bothered. ya sure i'll watch it but luv affair is OVER. Honeymoon. DONE.

these are good signs. these are vital signs. i'm too busy.

still in montreal. beautiful weather! the chill seeped in thru the nite. it's not fair. my summer has been one big gip. (gyp? oh. wait. now it's getting controversial). clearly i did not try hard enough. september is just a reminder of how much the summer sucked. all that hope. seems everyone says in may or june:
"It's gonna be a good summer!!!"

ya right. face facts. even though i was born in september - no great shakes. The transition from summer to fall is way abrupt. it's like falling backwards. (winter to spring is the best. summer is my favourite. this is new..after shedding 'dead can dance' out of my system).

oh gee. i wish i could post my book stuff but it's top secret. the cover is killer. i have to say. it happened BY ACCIDENT. I swear. it's like i didn't even do it. my hands were just moving around, being controlled. i don't know. i wish i could have NO TEXT on the cover but i dont know if that'll fly. i might just want the title and not even my name (classic ahlers style. "who made this?", "Who's art show is this? - is she even here?", "where did this zine come from? there's no name on it" etc).

visualize: HAWKS.

montreal was nice to me this afternoon. all i have to do is leave the house. i ran into a bunch of people i know from here and there (& some i dont want to know but i'm really good at vibing people out of the room/store/area of town. just kidding) and then i felt 'popular' for a few minutes. that was rare. i really do get tired of wandering around by myself.

Nerdsie introduced me to DIK-DIKS last nite!!! oh gee. how special. they are KILLING me. look at them!

i'm sitting here in montreal. i missed my train yesterday. slept thru my 'goldphone'alarm clock. i thot i hit 'snooze'. ("Snooze Button" is one of my 100 nicknames).

if you have sleeping problems, it is suggested to go sit outside first thing and face your face to the sun for fifteen minutes to set your biological clock. done and done.

i bought the new vanity fair. i bought the FARRAH one. there is a super nice spread on don and betty draper. apparently, michael weiner (!?) suggested JANUARY JONES +(that name!! aka 'betty', 'birdie', 'betts') read ARIEL by Sylvia Plath. I was just scanning a line drawing of Ms. Plath the o'er day so now i have an idea for another page in my book - w/ betty and sylvia togeths. at last.

i am trying not to lose my mind over bookcopy. over attempting to 'encapsulate' and/or frame the work i do. it might as well be a tombstone. engraved forevs. this has been an impossible chore over the years. esp now that i am working on the book, the material - and am meant to be move out of that to talk about the work - while it's happening - it feels like my brain might break. i do nothing at the drop of a hat. i dont work in an ER room. that's not my profession.

although 'stevie nicks + hollie hobbie' is making some semblance of sense. since i make CRAFT PRODUCTS and like ROCK. i feel grateful for that. somehow.

gdamn it might as well be 1960. nothing has changed. take me to town on that. i won't go.

i'll go enjoy montreal now. all i want to do is go to LA RONDE and go on that ferris wheel and stand on the expo 67 site.

mike gabel aka Hot Breath Karaoke

my old bfriend mike is visiting w/ his wife Jen from london, england (engleterre)
he didn't get back to me properly so our timing is all screwy...he's arriving TO today and i'm leaving..then he informs me he is going to THE EX in ottawa ('canada's exhibition' etc...it's a yearly fun fair type thing) to see APRIL WINE and they got wrist bands for ALL DAY RIDES (topped off w/ april.w) so now i may have to zip back from montreal REAL quick to head to ottawa. but that could be HOURS and HOURS. so it might not happen. argh. mad.

mike said he might move here from engleterre and i was squealing on the phone PLEASE MOVE HERE!

all you gotta do is youtube 'hot breath karaoke' and you'll see why he should move to Toronto.
or 'Duotard' their 'forever in spandex' project they've been doing over the last ..decade, i think?
he's something else. i dont even know where to start.

i love going on rides.

snail's pace

ESSENTIAL LISTENING: david suzuki's one hour radio show called the last call in which he interviews david cheesewright (CEO of wallmart canada), james lovelock (gaia theory), annie leonard (the story of stuff) and al gore (vicepresUSA/inconvenie...nt truth) about our consumptive lifestyle and what we need to do to save the planet. (*radical change needed*) thanks anne!!

i heard this CBC podcast a few weeks ago and it's awesome!

i hope nobody thinks i am a jerk for saying there is too much art out there. i think i speak from years of experience and awareness - even if only standing on the sidelines, holding up the walls and watching. everything.

A beautiful PAPER FIRE by jamie q! now that's damn fine & necessary art!
her art is great. my favourite sculpture of hers is a plastic take-out fork with a tine broken off and a piece of trident gum wrapper paper wrapped around the handle.

um...i am working on my book and it's hella slow going. i only have a few boundaries: no boys allowed. no images of couples. mostly all colour and trying to have no text. it's challenging to separate the vast body of work (see: too much art) i've produced over the last few years. lord geezus. help me.
i do produce alot of work but alot of it is NOT NECESSARY. people need to edit more. esp people who post hundreds of stupid & bad photos on facebook.