Recent Rookie Illo

i'm really into this 'illo' as we call them. i am so happy to have been able to incorporate virginia woolf, kate moss from a corinne day photo w/ feather headdress, THE BELL JAR (w/ woolf. again), ripped up flyer for strawberry ice cream sale (from the annoying GD flyers that get stuffd in my mailbox even though i just put up two signs: NO MORE, please), feminine vershz of gerhard richter candle (pink) fr the SY daydream nation album cover (that i love. and his work made me cry when i saw it in the real) but best of all being able to incorporate two of Lisa Smolkin's girls. I love her drawings. Thank you, guy.
These 2 are especially important to me b/c they were retrieved from a secret art burning we did in the summer with shary boyle. Lisa was doing some burning and i pretty much jumped in the fire yelling: nooooooooooooooooo! once again: i love her drawings.

AND!! and!! you can read the breathtaking piece of writing that I had the honour of illustrating. It blew my mind.

http://rookiemag.com/2012/09/stuffing-myself-with-immanence/

ROOKIE YEARBOOK ONE!!

I dont even know where to start on this project/what to say...cos it's TOO MUCH! (designed that cover. in fact just staring at my laptop that i stared at that cover for so long and then to see it IRL...it's super twilight zone surreal). I spent my summer working with Drawn And Quarterly in Montreal putting together the yearbook. It is the best of the best of the Rookie site's content in a publication form. We put it together and I added my 'vibes' as (TG would say)..you will know what I mean when you see it. I am being vague which is 'cray' b/c this is one of the best projects I have ever worked on. ever. and there is SO MUCH TO SAY. ask me anything. okay maybe not now. or...i dont know when i'll have time. But there is so much to say.

I'm cram-seshin packing/getting things done before i catch a RED EYE tomorrow night to NEW YORK FOR THE LAUNCH (very obsessed with this RED EYE on Cathay Pacific. I love that airline! and i love flying!!). It's already 'red eye' time. i live in 'red eye'. Okay i need to go finish an illustration for Rookie (the show must go on) and try and fix a dress i destroyed 8 years ago (antique thing i thought i'd 'hem' but hacked off too much now i am sewing it back together. nice work) and i have to pack and my suitcase is looking too small and i am loathe to pull down the other honking thing that AIR CANT replaced when they busted up my other suitcase (that i actually liked)...they gave me a hideous one. I CANT. it's like patent-leather-looking-but-tiny-black&silver -checkerboard' pattern/hound's tooth. It's so ugly i thought for a minute it was 'good' but after skidding thru a few baggage claims, it's all SKID. IDIOT DESIGN. the patent is now not so patent. it has scrap marks on it. i think the only thing that will save this future landfill is STICKERS as in: lots. And not just sticker stickers - BUMPERSTICKERS. i might have to visit a 'head shop' and pick up some 'rock stickers' or stickers you're meant to stick on your van. ('take me to your dealer' etc.)

oh yes. i need to go.
Anyways! Get your hands on a ROOKIE YEARBOOK and tell me what you think! so far i have only heard 'freak outs' as in: WE LOVE THIS!!! It's amazing amazing amazing. WOW. to be a part of something so grand and full of love  from so many contributors (writers, photographers, illustrators, artists, stylists, designers. u name it) and so, so much HARD WORK and love went into this. I know i put every single i had into it. We decided pretty early on: THIS IS NOT GOING TO PRESS UNTIL IT'S PERFECT.

and it is.

okay now must go.
xoxo
but wait. before i go. I think what is most SURREAL is that one year ago today I was sitting in Dawson City at the Macaulay House residency(you srsly need to click that link and have your mind blown) doing my residency..that was me sitting in a room working by myself watching the parade of dawsonites cruise by the windows (i was looking down on everything from the second floor bird's eye view)...three-legged dogs, dogs running with  leashes dragging behind all free and wild (no owner in sight), weird rigged up ATV-like things ripping past. Pretty yukon style...the light in that studio was really good and it was SEPTEMBER which always means NEW THINGS and all the leaves were turning gold! and well..yes. the yukon LIGHT which is like nowhere else on earth. I was working on Rookie illustrations all fresh and new and u know..kinda freaking out cos it was NEW and it was also the usual me: wtf am i doing? but just...DOING IT and figuring it out learning curve style..finding a good balance and what will work on line and brushing up on my 'tech skills' (that was a joke cos it you only knew. Tom at D+Q finally got me using a stylus 'pen' which is SO GREAT)...but to think back to that scene and to look at this scene now tuh-day...that all those 'illos' i did in the past year..i never ever would have DREAMED that one year later we'd be holding a book in our hands. It makes me want to cry. I dont think I have ever seen a project unfold with such gentle force and determination EVER. Never. and i've been doing this a long time. SNOWBALL. There are so many incredible people involved in this project. Incredible. It is a true labour of love and it couldnt have come at a better time for THE WORLD.

Run the World, Girls
(oh! speaking of GIRLS. Lena Dunham will be at the launch reading!) and sum other speshul guests.
WOOT. i'm such a fan of Lena.

ON 'NOT LETTING GO OF SUMMER'

with the hopes i'll be posting some more..there's lots to catch up on and lots happening. BIG YEAR! more to come. xoxoxoox

things on my desktop

Book reviews on ROOKIE here.

christina ricci, 1998

FRANCESCA WOODMAN where do i begin??

truth be told, my desktop is a total mess. Laura Palmer is also sleeping on the desktop. I really love photographed plastic. Francesca Woodman's work is fairly new to me. Photographs. Mind=blown. Blown=mind. I dont know where to begin. Her work is astonishing. She died in 1981 at the age of 22. She jumped off a building.

THIS WOMAN'S WORK!!!

Have you seen this yet? alison schulnik. shary tole me about her awhile back and when share(balls) recommends, you know it's gonna be REALLY GOOD. (thanks to my people over at banquet for posting this! My people)


Mound by Allison Schulnik from garaco taco on Vimeo.

My New Life

and again: MY NEW LIFE
i love that hair. That rat's nest/bird's nest driving in that car. something like that. That's Dora Ford in the middle. I dont know anything about her but it's a pretty picture i found. it's about -38 here in the Yukon. Thanks 4 that!
HAPPY 2012!
xo
PS the lana del rey drama carries on. JT LEROY

'I will love you till the end of time'

oops forgot to blog for what...like..what? a year? can i blog everyday? if a tree falls in the forest, does anybody give a rat's ass? I know i do.


so yessssssss i'm in TORONTO doing the terry fox marathon (bless him) version of all things bunnies..give me my dixie cup of water every 30 steps. ..actually no. pass me my FAVOURITE CUP. I bought this EXCELLENT cup from hugo didier last year at the Oneofakind show where i am now..I drink my 900 tonnes of water out of it every day. It's tall in the shape of a heart with a lipstick kiss mark where your own lips hit the cup and drink the water. AND! Ergonomic: it fits perfectly in your hand. Hugo himself told me each lipstick mark on every cup is HIS OWN. Dude applied and re-applied lippystick for HOW MANY CUPS? i'm going to ask him tomorrow cos i'm going to buy MORE. (i actually bought two last year but one vanished into thin air). I'm really not much of a shopper. ok i lie but i'm really really picky and i only buy the good sh*t.

the show is going awesomely. i dont know what it is. My booth location? I'm right around the corner from JULIE SINDEN. Thank goodness. It's been so, so busy...for example: run out for 5 minutes to go buy a five dollar coffee so i can stay awake for the next 13 hours going on 4 hours sleep and not eating anything all day but a handful of almonds and then not even being able to drink the coffee. i'm NOT kidding you. This is the opposite of my usual life. of course i find this all to be really fun..even if it's insane and exhausting and not super healthy but i make up for the food in the evening. in fact, i just polished off grant's chocolate coconut bliss. OOPS. I keep wondering when people will stop paying attention to the bunnies but it doesnt seem to be..happening. they just continue to gain in popularity like a VERY LARGE SNOWBALL. I will say that i do my best to make them better and push for evolving/evolution. It's really all i care about. All i care about is MAKING IT BETTER. And i mean everything.

a very sweet girl came in with her mom (times 10 - this happened several times over) and wanted my autograph. ???! (she really just wanted the bunny's autograph but bunny didnt have a pen so i was the stand-in). Lots of girls carry their bunnies with them everywhere. THE STORIES I HAVE HEARD. Bunnies with homemade hammocks stretched over beds, bunny condos, bunny apartment buildings...Um..i do love it when i get to revisit a bunny..when a collector brings their bunny by to say hi. I usually add some accessories..today i added a silver halo/headband with a gray feather to a big pink bunny.
Collectors. This is how it goes.

i digress. There are a hundred stories. ALL OF THEM ARE AMAZING. This stuff keeps me going.


i've been listening to that lana del rey business. i know i've been in a warren for the last while..is this all new? am i that out of it? i like her 'video games' and 'blue jeans' songs and her LOOK IS QUITE GOOD. HER NAILS and the ooober bling (diamante hoops the size of halos) and the 1940s veronica lake hair and those slightly sleazy rose-tinted heart-shaped specs (I mean - COME ON) and her 50s dresses and other random. kinda dope (like soap on a rope).
i heard she had  plastic surgery assistance but what else is new and free to be you and me so that is weird but free to be me and you and while we're at it everyone else we know. oddly, strangely, amazingly, she and her sister run a "grassroots homeless outreach program in New York assisting street people (that never feels right to say) in piecing back their identification/paperwork so they may transition back into 'normal life' and get jobs, apartments".  WHO IS THIS PERSON?  Just try and connect the dots. Actually - don't because you won't. She's appears...??? 
i like those two songs and the style mashing and her possibly true humanitarianism?
Now i'm going to listen to BLUE JEANS over and over.

and let's hope it's all true and not this bullsh*t

POSTSCRIPT POSTSCRIPT POSTSCRIPT!! it's all fake!!!! i knew it. Lisa Prentice proved it. Her daddy purchased all of it.  I KNEW something was rotten in the state of Denmark. It just wasnt sitting right. just wasn't. wasn't

In other news - i dont have time to do ROOKIE pictures this month but i have been pounding out movie reviews left, right and centre. HAAAAAAAA FRIED GREEN TOMATOES! I have new meaning, new purpose to my existenz as a human bean.

check it.

MEEK'S CUTOFF

i'm about halfway through. it is very dumbly that i am 'watching' this while frantically sewing (not frantic..the only way the bunnies work now is if they are made slowly. I contemplate each stitch now. it frightens me sometimes. the perfectionism has  reached a new high (i think it makes realize how far i had to come. that also frightens me). i say 'dumbly' b/c this movie requires 1000% attention. It is so beautiful. The colour palette. You are there. A canary in a birdcage. No water. Chucking dead weight heirlooms off the back of a covered chuck wagon. Crude knitting. Gun powder. One book. Dry cracked skin and dirt.


trailer here
i want to wear bonnets. i love their clothing.

THE FRIDGE

i like to decorate fridges. It's my personal art gallery and IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY. i was thinking of organizing a group show years back (1996?). Everyone would drag their own fridge (to wherever gallery) & decorate and fill their fridge. Someone talked me out of it pointing out logistics and all. but i wonder why i let them talk me out of it?  People make insane movies that bleed money. Herzog made FITZCARRALDO. Oh. and then there's Ishtar. Lesson: dont listen to anybody. Another lesson: if you think your idea is dumb or logistically dumb, think of Ishtar.
Here is the current stage of the fridge. This exhibit titled ART WORKERS WONT KISS ASS is ending tomorrow. (it's already getting covered by the new slew). Most of these images came via amazing mail and mostly from my pal SUZY. Shary sent 'the hand of the artist'. I have no idea whose hand that is (probably picasso's. It is usually Picasso). Lesson #3: It's a really good idea to send me mail.

Picardo

 Pinnipeds. i love seals. always have. always will. when i was a little kid my favourite stuffed animal was a black seal. they seem so defenseless! It's difficult for them to move on land. Their eyes are windows to every lost soul.

 J. Crew cata. hello. sweaters and tutus??? YES. That's Suzy's drawing as a fridge magnet. she's dancing with the stars.

 brilliant suzy art

 EGRETS! I am very drawn to these birds. How stunning. The wingspan. Stick an 'r' in front of 'egret' and you know what you have (and i have many and none). I love this image. I might have to blow it up into a huge poster.

 GD CATHY!!!she's a tard but u must luv her. This is a collaboration between me and the Swizzler..it's a CATHY sticker in and amongst the great artists of our time. Ha. That's Paul Cezanne seated and white bearded Camille Pissarro..and some hangers-on. Art. The End.
PS the ART WORKERS WONT KISS ASS POSTER was a gift from grant heaps. It's good isn't it? www.primaryinformation.org

BEHAVING OURSELVES

here are some elle fanning collages i was tinkering with while in dawson @ the residency a month or whatever ago. i had a break through while shifting the papers around and then realized 'oh, just photograph them'. Sometimes collage work can drive a person mad. There are too many possibilities. You have to force clarity and just commit.

Here is song of the week (just scroll past the chrissie hynde/joan jett image and 'ode to lydia lunch' text to 'all too human'. I cannot, for the life of me, place the jangly guitars..and what they remind me of..but it's so good)

singles & ROOKIE

so weird. i've been driving around listening to the SINGLES soundtrack (might be over it..but ya..that 'click' will take u to my favourite song on it. DORK!)..and then ROOKIE gave me a few assignments one of them being an illustration on THE JOYS OF BEING SINGLE. so weird b/c everything i illustrate for them is basically my life..(w/ the exception of an upcoming story on 'cutting'). Heavy stuff.  wonder why. (Lived thru it). So the above image. i just wanted to look at the illustration again b/c it turned out so well. I cant tell you how fun it is to work for Rookie. It's like a psychic/ESP communication/connection. Total dream. I've been going on and on about it but if you knew me personally and my life - you'd understand why I am going on about it. It can get very lonely way the fk hell out in left field waving my arms around, 'hey! hey! guys!!! OVER HERE!' (for decades)..and then just saying 'forget it' and go live in my own little self-constructed universe. Which is fine. And I do. Very well. But sometimes i want to connect with other like-minded individuals. I care about this project very much. I care about true connectedness and community and building self-esteem and self-worth for THE LADIES OF THE WORLD.

My local friend little stevie brought up the 'judgment day' soundtrack mentioning that it's one of the first 'cross overs'...like melding/fusing several genres. Like..y'know..metal and rap. Et cetera. I'm glad genre crossing is more at the forefront. BRING THAT! It's important to throw things off.

I've been internet trolling a bit (all inspired by ROOKIE) and I've found some fun things! Do you like The Notebook? Then you probably like fellow Canadian Ryan Gosling. This 'Feminist Ryan Gosling' blog is good stuff. I think the blog is about 5 days old now. the thing blew up mental overnite. That's The Sign. (& if you havent seen BLUE VALENTINE yet, get on it, please!)

Here's a great little NPR interview w/ Tavi talking about Rookie. I love her speaking voice. She is so composed and wise and thoughtful.
This hilarious NINETIES blog...the front page screams at you: YOU'RE NOT PUNK AND I'M TELLING EVERYONE ('save your breath/i never was one') . That's a lyric from an old Jawbreaker song. I'm just lamenting - Blake was my penpal for a minute. Penpals. Sigh.

PS back to crossing genres..this is really the best song off the SINGLES soundtrack..it's a cover of 'battle of evermore' by the Lovemongers aka HEART. It's better than Zep's.

POST SCRIPT! as in next day/now. That post was the frk'n most random thing i've ever done. i think this might be my new goal in life. MORE RANDOM. Or wait. Is that a bad thing? it is too scattered? 

'my fascination with Fatal Attraction knows no bounds'

i love these images from an EW 'fatal attraction' reunion (sans brunette). Reunion?? If you know the movie, this is surreal. It's a happy ending! A framed chef's knife! Hell ya! (speaking of which - my brand new chef's knife is M.I.A. since my move). Glenn's even wearing a similar shade of dried blood red nail polish she wore as Alexx Forest in F.A (her outfits in that movie are outstanding). There's even a puppy dog under that bench. Glenn Close is in my top 5 favourite actresses('AcTOR!', says the actress) and michael douglas is still alive.

We're all still alive.

White bunnies abound right now. That little bunny looks pretty chilled out. Okay time to watch DAMAGES now.

POSTING BUNNIES

I've been posting bunnies on the etsy store because sometimes this is what i do..and then months pass and i dont have time but i have time right now!
(do you love the profile pic of a Pocohontas-inspired bunny? Can you even tell what it is? Thought not).

Also still on my Courtney jag! I watched this BEHIND THE MUSIC from 2010..it blew my mind. It's so heavy and incredible and embarrassing and sad and beautiful and brilliant. It's a huge part of my own personal history and make-up having grown up so much alongside of it in a weird nosebleed seat kinda way but also feeling front row and inside of it as a collective biography thing that life seems to be sometimes.

I have a thousand things to say about Courtney Love.
I am working on something.

FALL ON YOUR SWORD

i'm waiting on pins and needles for November's VANITY FAIR w/ this Love piece that i want to read..but I may know all the info i need to know - or not know (meaning: i know enough). I did find this tiny short film 'courtney in wonderland' via VF's site. It's weird. But I watched it twice. It's like i'm going to get some special key or insight into humanity and WHY and WHY and WHY?? How do people like this do this???? GET THERE? It's unbelievable. The Secret. My CL fixation has been going on and off and on since about 1992 or 1993. My hate and my love. She boggles my mind.

Dial-A-Lash

my friend anne just made me watch this. I was mesmerized. Sat rapt. ALL MY TIME IN VANCOUVER. My past life flashed before my eyes.

Radar

Here is where i live now. It is called the 'radar apartments'. I love this image. It was built by the military
(awesome (that's sarcasm)) in 1948 as a SIGNAL STATION! I can feel it. I love living in buildings that were not meant to be lived in....but become that - living spaces. I like this because it feels very neutral. Having spent the last month at the 100+year old haunted Macaulay House in Dawson has loaded me up enough for the next decade. I need neutral. This new space is a very open space with the highest ceilings i've ever seen in a non-living space plus wall of windows plus a good eggshell white wall for me to work on. The light is outstanding. It is perfect light. I feel like a plant in a good spot.  I will get much work done in here.
Oh. And the hallways. Sick. Dark wood panelboard and just DARK and more dark and SHINING. I love it. It's totally weird and suits me just fine.
For now.

Now I Am Forty

 "Light from a cake is such a great light. Maybe we should just live in cake light", says Claire from Six Feet Under. She might have been stoned when she said that. But she is right. It is the best light.

This was fun. The painting in the background is still pencilled outline from Alice Munro's 'Lives Of Girls And Women'..but i blacked out those four letters. Everyone is making a big deal out of forty..it feels as epic and as on par as losing one's virginity...Forty feels better than 20 and 30. I've always known it would be this way. I've always known it would be better some day. And it is.
My friend Wendy threw a sweet and very special and very small little birthday party for me at the shack. She got me a  cake, bunny ears and sushi. It was perfect. I only like small parties from now one. Thank you Wendy!

other people's art

THIS photo (sorry..ART)  made me laugh! Let's get random. I love the styro foam he's using like wrist rests..and that he's propped up on work horse-whatever-those-things-R w/ boxes of sh*t underneath (AWESOME) and every other obvious thing about it that is hilarious (a single magenta croc (double gross), the poorly faked amputated knee (we can see that it's bent), cucumber fingers? sezza whatta?). Outstanding. bravo bravo.

this image is called 'crystal swallow' i think. I like it. ..to temper that sick other image is the great Simone d. Beauvoir (a quote of hers is the crux or nucleus of a current book project. How obvious is that?) and some more art. I found that art here...stumbled upon it while i was looking up  (one of)  the only galleries i like in Toronto.

My eyes are sore.
I'll snap out of my sarcasm like an elastic band listening to Elastica.
Just give me  5 minutes.

and lastly (it's hard 2 believe that word exists. it seems wrong but i'm using it)

IF NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES ARE THE 'YELLOW PLAGUE' THEN BUILD ME A CROUP TENT OR THROW ME IN QUARANTINE FOR 24 YEARS! FINE! NO PROBLEM! NO MORE NGMs! please!

(as much as i dearly love them).

Yes. still at residency. still sorting.
xo
ps. tried zumba today. no comment.
Alright. Comment: i have mild dyslexia and i can only move to my own moves.
it was alright. the music was awful so that made it a drag. Over produced processed latin beats? NO THANK YOU. fix the music and i'll reconsider.

NOTHINGNESS

this is part of an installation i did a few years ago. i like it @ this moment b/c it is almost Nothing. I have a love of nothingness.