Friday, March 7, 2008
my friend sarah cain said it's like i'm hanging the laundry up to dry.
i've been living with these pages for four months now.
i did do a clean up last week and took them all down and organized them into sections: Lives Of Girls And Women, Failed Relationship (We Almost Had It is a working title), Banger Pyramid, The Selves, It Comes In Waves, Beautiful Pages....
the pages come down, the pages go back up.
i was feeling particularly destructive the other day and borrowed ben's shredder and pushed some paper through that. That felt really good.
I had unearthed a whole other box i had forgotten about - it made me feel exhausted. I'd printed off old email correspondences from a few years ago...i shredded them.
i was watching the making of marie-antoinette and i learned some interesting things about process. There are 2 opera scenes in the movie but they had shot three. Each scene clearly a MAJOR production. I loved hearing about how *they* decided to cut an entire scene - tens of thousands of dollars, hours and hours of people power...gone poof!
so a bunch of old papers...my life...doesn't really matter.
i'm starting to work more on the computer lately - for the book. Today i designed some pages. I used Cooper Black font to spell out: You Know You Want It.
and i used my own calligraphy with these brush pens i love: Enjoy It While You Can.
I am also writing songs right now.
I have no idea where they are going - if they are going anywhere...i should be more superstitious..i shouldn't talk about projects...but really i am only talking about what i have been doing.
we'll see what comes to light.
( but i have been talking with a musician friend - we would like to do a project. i would love that..i wrote songs before and i sang them and reading the songs over now - they are still totally relevant - to me. i know i wrote them because i had to but i see now that they are a part of the whole body of work i started making in the early 90s. The lyrics were gleaned from the bookwork...crystallized forms).
so maybe this is what needs to happen now.
The Sea Of Tea Asked Me:
why, Gwen Stefani!! from our favourite band NO DOUBT.
epilogue of the gwen perfume...i ended up having to have a second shower and use a STAIN REMOVER on my ski jacket to get the reek out.
(actually, the Sea of Tea likes HAYWIRE!!!! We were trying to download DANCE DESIRE...i can only find it via CABLE hahahahha)
i went and bought more office supplies today at STAPLES. I use OFFICE SUPPLIES to organize all my book stuff. Ben gave me some nice file folders, too.
i was just watching a movie that had torturing in it - which i can't stand more than ANYTHING (even though Sayid (previous job: Torturor) is one of my favourite Lost characters - for his consistency, intelligence, grace, remorse, survival skills and capability to act by his intuition (plus he is romantic)). It's that movie um..Rendition with Reese (I want to do important work) Witherspoon and jake donnie darko. it was okay. i wanted to turn it off and go to bed but i was sewing a bunny - and i have to keep working right now. Bleak..but it's not like Full Metal Jacket-bleak. I begged for that movie to be turned off.
I watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last night at the film fest. It didn't make me sad even though it is a very sad story.
This is like one of those notes in high school where your friend reads your writing that says: sorry this is so boring.
hahah. but i do need to go to sleep now.