Monday, November 24, 2008

christmess coming

'all the lonely people/where do they all come from?'

'you talking to me?'


i have to find ways to make christmas okay.
i think because i've worked retail in previous lives - my body goes into instant adrenalin trauma mode because of unexorcized cellular memories.

but it's really okay!

i love many things about it. i like egg nog lattes. umm...alot.
(reduced fat ones..i do try and only smalls and only once in awhile).

coral is my red for christmas. and a single mitten stocking with a bunny hiding inside.
(coral and lavender look nice - an unusual combo. I used to think that red and lavender should be outlawed till i saw it together one day).

plus it is magic. no matter. i think that everyone's heart is far more open in december than any other time of year.
I don't know what that statistic is for world population of who even cares.



i just discovered www.playlist.com last night by accident.

woah yeah. hello! it rules as much as it can rule.
come be my friend and share playlists.

(my playlist is a mess right now and kind of guilty pleasure messy like an embarrassing *obscure* song by HOLE from the 'any given sunday' soundtrack..that oliver stone football movie cameron diaz al pacino, ann-margret, crazy cast (not that i've seen it or plan on it but i wouldn't put it past me) the song is called BE A MAN from 1999. The Video Is Scary. The kind of thing i watch w/ my mouth slightly agape. Sociologically speaking. I'm 100% wtf courtneylove?

"Be A Man" this is a weird coincidence b/c i'm doing alot of writing on men cliches using 'mad men' (DON DRAPER) as reference..plus a song came out of that too on a bike ride home one night in the pouring rain after a pink mountaintops show (steve mostly alone playing). i make up songs while i'm riding my bike around (and promptly forget most of them but if i remember when i get home i sing it into my computer for reference for a secret project i'm working on).

but back to playlist.com

it's better than downloading. there are more songs available...i was able to find more Unwound and other slightly obscure..well.. you know. i'm re-listening to old music i haven't heard in years. it's fun. i love unwound. sometimes it is the sound inside my heart. (especially 'corpse pose').

i have to curate my playlist.

why is everyone GenY all helvetica? playlist.com is all helvetica too. (plus a million dumb ads) do they think we are so removed from cursive now that the serifs will further confuse? too extraneous. i dunno. it sucks b/c i used to like helvetica. now it's just boring.

kids won't even know how to handwrite in the future.

they'll just type a post-it note on the computer.
mind you, i can barely pick up the phone anymore. i'll email someone in the same room as me.

xo

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Office Art/WHAT IS THE ARTIST TRYING TO SAY?


possibly most favourite collaboration of all time..well, top 5. What you see here and below is a collage of photographs i took over the last month - lisa smolkin and i did an art room at the Gladstone Hotel. We hung hundreds of lisa's paintings in..4hrs. 4 of us gunning it. me on 2 hrs sleep/jetlag/insomnia. it was great. So lisa brought the salt lamp and i spontaneously threw the pointe shoes in my bag on the way down. Grant Heaps works for the Toronto Ballet and has been saving shoes for me! i have an amazing collection. They are gold to me. So we threw down the salt lamp and the cord was in the way and i'm all: someone's gonna trip on that so i covered the cord w/ the shoes...it's so beautiful. the colour scheme. those lamps are marketed as HEALING..and interestingly..all those shoes/soles/in agony/in a row/ leading up to/ some salt lamp heal-age. Heel.
some of the other pics are from a mini art tour w/ Dark Hand And Lamplight. FUN!
i'm making a poster out of this. Found @ London Museum in their art office. This explains All Art Ever Made And To Be Made(inthefuture). i'm really into offices and i'm into making art in an office and i'm into making art out of office supplies. i'm still into The Office. Much of my art is organized in an elaborate filing system - just like..an office. I used to work in an office when i was a post-teen.


my art
Living Legend
shareballs taking the lead. she did 5 times more work than we did.


My precious laptop. so full i fear 'SONNY' may blow up. this was taken on the canzine day. i laughed hysterically at the d-listed 'these belong in hell' expose on the CROC snowboot 'ugg' wannabees. wtf? it's hard to see. that foto is too po-po-mo (post-post modern) I could not stop laughing.
some of my favourite pieces were text-based: "Fuck the Government" and "I Am Not A Christian". alright lisa!

Robert Dayton in one of his kitten sweaters. he has a collection of cat sweaters.

i'm doing an online market right now through Poppytalkhandmade. Go have a look see! It is a virtual online streetmarket. who'd a thunkit in 97?

ETSY CUSTOMER OF THE WEEK!





ETSY CUSTOMER OF THE WEEK!

first things first, my etsy store:
www.makeitawesome.etsy.com


Ayumi! She resides in Tokyo with her new black bunny. Here is a photograph she took of BB in his new crocheted swing! and with her cat!
Ayumi says:
I am a housewife who loves my family(my husband and my cats), music(a big John Mayer fan) and anything sweet&natural&handmade.

(john oscar mayer weiner)

Obvs Ayumi is perfect.
She special ordered a custom bunny today - a white furry one that is more childlike. She's so amazing she went through my etsy store and noted the different grades of angora. she was able to detect the angora content! WOAH. Why don't i just move to japan? this is stupid. Details-oriented. highest of quality. cares. all day. all night.

plus she signs all of her emails: Your friend, Ayumi.

She also took note of the eyelet skirts i designed...she noted TUCKS :
(see first photo. why can't i stick the photo in here? does anyone know?)
I am sorry....seems I made a mistake! The apron I mentioned was the lacey 'skirt' as the mummy bunny is wearing. The lace braid is very pretty and the skirt is sophisticated with its tucks not gathers.
I just noticed that the mummy bunny was also made of white angora as well but looks somewhat different from the touque bunny's angora. Have you a lot of angora sweaters? The touque bunny's angora might go well with the child bunny. So if you still have that kind of fluffy angora in stock, I hope you will make the child with it. Thank you!
Well, it is very windy now but very sunny, lazy golden afternoon......

AND she noted how much WORK it looked like i had done for the etsy store..as in: made all the bunnies, photographed all the bunnies, edited the photos in photoshop, uploaded all the pics...etc.

i need to be in japan.
i want an onsen tour (public hot springs/baths), constant karaoke, kyoto, my friends who live there, my favourite store, sushi trains, ice cream lamps/lit up cones, temples, gardens, zen gardens. you name it. all.

etc.

i need to do more work on my blog. i realize that. i need to make time for this. i am very busy like an octopus lady. anyways, if you want to be linked or have any Blog Betterment suggestions can you please email me?
Also I am looking for people who would like to buy my bunnies. People who appreciate Steiffs and other handmade special doll and toy items.
Maybe they are in Germany? Maybe in England. Not sure yet. Maybe because I'm German/British and Japanese.

sonja.ahlers@gmail.com

thank you!

xo
Post script: i am completely into The Office. As in: the American One. wtf? i vowed. i said. i said. no way man. i'm a purist. it's UK or nothing! not this watered-down biznazz. i guess i got swayed for a few reasons:

1. my friend lisa smolkin made me take a pact to watch it six months ago. i did nothing.
2. listening to cbc last week they kept going on about a special episode where Michael Scott (steve carell who i used to strongly dislike. i was wrong. he is *TALENT*) takes a business trip to WINNIPEG.
3. I finished Mad Men and i need to be 'watching' things while i sew those bunnies you see above.

This show is hilarious.
PLUS i see that gervais/merchant are involved in the project,so it's all good.

speshul thanks to sydney vermont for introducing me to SURF THE CHANNEL DOT COM

i'm also into late 90s 'horror' movies...i just watched Scream and watched the poor man's Scream: i know what you did last summer (really bad. opening scene w/ a late 90s mall 'intense' cover of SUMMER BREEZE by seals and croft) the whole neve campbell..i guess cos of party of five..i was watching that for a moment. the show that 'defined a generation'. is this the show that kicked My So-Called Life off the air????
what???

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Howling Hex




omg i'm so bored.
i'm at home simultaneously making bunnies and writing a grant and PROCRASTINATING. i am The Worst!

Hi Lady Friends. i'm selling a limited edition giclee print thru my etsy store. i only have 40 left from the edition of 50. it's a top quality german etching paper and top quality print job. this paper absorbs the ink in a surreal kind of way. it looks like a watercolour - vibrant and nicely saturated.
It is 8.5X11" in size.
I am selling it for $45.
As added incentive - an original piece from this series just sold for $1,000 in an art auction. I want to help you start and/or add to your art collection.

here's the link:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17170009

things i like right now:

NETTLE TEA
MAD MEN
soft black licorice from australia
piles of white angora sweaters. ANY pile of angora
Old Man Ray's beautiful long-haired white cat 'Whitey' who lives below me
a perfect pink porcelain lady leg i traded w/ Boyle
'cock sucker' art from Smolkin
dennis wilson's album 'pacific ocean blue'
john masters organic beauty products ('blood orange and vanilla' body lotion, et cets)

i went to a reading at a laundermat last night. i couldn't hear anything for the washing machines and people getting change so i had to leave.

that's all for now, folks!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hits Of The Day



'sonja is about to have her internet privileges revoked'

Hit of the day is 'bang bang' by Trouble Andrew.

omg i love this song. thanks to ELISA ROSE.
he's some snowboarder idiot from whistler who moved to new york and put out an album.
i'm embarrassed. 'bang bang/wanna see my gun?'

it's kind of like old germs/darby crash but way more "together"> Meaning: super produced.
i'm obsessed with this stupid song. i just found it on youtube and was slightly disturbed by the VIDEO. It's all Vice Culture and American Apparel...which I hate.
close your eyes and listen. or not. i gave you the pre-amble.

http://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAmExxE-RDc

as far i know - it's Santogold singing on the Trouble Andrew song.
so cleanse yourself with Santi White aka SANTOGOLD my new favourite album of 2008:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCeZzW54a2o

I don't have patience to watch it through right now (no time). So close your eyes and listen to the song. Imagine you are in a speedy silver car (possibly a yaris) zipping around a windy kootenay road mountain range lake beside.

clearing out.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Skinned Rabbit


first pic: shary boyle's art. mind boggling.

i know it's horrible and it is horrifying. i forced myself to take the photo at the butcher shop. i never go in butcher shops. i hate them as much as i hate going into the liquor store. the smell of the licker store...brown paper bags and miasma of booze.

rare times i ate pizza as a kid, i would take everything off the pizza before i ate it. i skinned it like a rabbit. pointed out my dad's omnipresent friend peter smith.

i spent alot of time with peter as a kid. me and cubby. we were always going off with our parents radical babysitter friends. sometimes we'd get up to no good. peter was easy to torment. he was a blonde hippie surfer type. very good-natured and FUN and hilarious. He once put a squeegee on a finger and said, 'with this squeegee, i thee wed'. i was 9 or 10 when we were all goofing off in a mcdonald's parking lot with ketchup packets. i laid a few down and jumped on them with all my might and sprayed his pure white clean perfect bell bottoms. i felt really bad. i turned into a boy when i was with them. oftentimes folks thought my brother and i were either twin girls or twin boys. mostly boys. we are 16 months apart.

i did another wretched thing to peter. that horrible thing came up that kids did in the late 70s/earliest of 80s: "if your hand is bigger than your face/you have cancer"
i said it to him (awful child) and he curiously put his hand up to his face and i did 'the trick' and slammed his open hand into his face enough to give him a bloody nose. We were on the bus.

why? where? do these things come from?
i was a talking head.

apparently there is a new trend in music. a murmur only. it's a sound from the late 80s/early 90s..that 3,4 year window.
i guess people are mad again.
there needs to be some raging.

i've been listening to UNWOUND lately..have been craving it for months now. the screaming is music to my ears. bring it ON. The Royal We realized this past summer the only time it is 'acceptable' to scream nowadays is on a RIDE like..the zipper at a crappy exhibition.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Not That There's A Reason For It









dear stephen harper
this is what artists do with grant money. they lie around on golf courses and count their tens and then they take digital photographs and call it 'art' and post it on their blog. some of them have to do illegal things to get money. it's what makes the world go round and round, afterall.
do you know that song by the butthole surfers 'Hairway to Stephen'? it's not about you.

later,
s.

elisa rose and i have been recording music. we are called Body Double. Then she said what about Body Triple? cos Dusty started playing with us, too. I said, 'what about Whitemare?' cos i'm not calling my new book that anymore. I'm calling it a different name (TBA. it's secret).

we have a 'pearl jam' inspired song but it's NOT - just some lady version of 'goat rock' which obvs is a thousand times better than any lame 'pearl jam' song (uh..even tho i like Ten cos i'm like that)..it's called "Gemstone" and there are alot of collective soul: YEAHHHHHHHs...and 'climbing up that ladder' and me repeating: I'm PEAKING for about half the song like jennifer herrema royal trux style and me playing the acoustic guitar (badly) and dusty noodling and elisa going on..it's kinda bluesy, actually. It's basically FREEDOM ROCK.
then we have a song with Stella (age 12) who has been writing raps over the last week. this rap is about 'nerds'. her teacher is so impressed with her he is getting her to teach a CREATIVE WRITING class on 'how to rap'.
(she rhymes 'locket' and 'pocket').
and we have an indie folk song about a page in my book about boy art and girl art and how boys likes girl's art if it looks like boy's art. i started working on this song in the yukon when i would sit in the basement and play into the night - re-teaching myself and only playing bar chords and such that were comfortable for my precious hands...this is a wild dream..so elisa pieced it all together..it sounds sucky but it RIPS. we 'laid down' a guitar riff i wrote that sounds like a chainsaw..ripping into it...but then it is very pretty and haunted and sad but not.

and we have a dance song that elisa wrote
and a song about a little whore that i just sang back-up with..it's a torch song.
OH! and another song where i'm kind of screaming all the way through.

when we went on RIDES in the summer (the zipper and such at The Ex in Toronto), shary and i realized that is the only time it is okay to SCREAM.

yeah so there's our album.
i also made a video tonight of elisa having a one-lady dance party in her gansta house..i shot it outside and the house looks like a jackolantern w/the warm orange lights and her dancing alone in the picture window. it's perfect.

i'll upload a different day.

ok so the bear came up the road while we were out on the deck partying.
it was so AMAMAMAMAZING.

i can't describe him..lopey dopey big bear claws turned inward plodding plod up the stairs to the apple tree. that why they make teddy bears. b/c everyone wants their own bear that they can hug.
'come here/gimme a hug' fitty cent

ok so here's the golf course photoshoot with pretty lavender ten dollar bills and such.
and my damn dress i have loved ever so over the last month or so.

these things don't last.

xo
PS i'm still obsessed with HAWKWIND
and the new brit brit song is great: WOMANIZER
go steal it off the internet TODAY!

AND this is one of my most favourite things of the last 6 months:

WALK IT OUT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU3N5c2Kxnw

Friday, October 10, 2008

...is bare bones




all i can do is think in facebook status updates.
my favourite update was from awhile while back:

'sonja is mowing the lawn'

it sounded so...dumb...so very facebook* and the visual is hilarious. Me (resentfully) mowing the lawn on 12th Avenue in Vancouver in big strawhat.

(*although fbook has done more good than harm -for me).

there was a bear on the deck last nite. it's my fault. i slipped up and did a stupid human thing which was: leave the compost out. i was mere inches from the bear - the only thing separating us was the dutch door. i could hear Bear grunting and snooping in the compost. i was so excited. i wanted so very much to swing the door open and Invite Only/come on in!!! let's finish watching this movie together.
instead i wrote this and sadly listened to the big bear walk away from me.

Smokin’ on the wrap-around deck @ gansta house.
It's bad but good in a fridakahlo way who was never ever without smoke. Smoke is a screen for the heart. I needed that protection. This will pass shortly.

I love being in the sticks b/c I can do whatever the #%@$ I want.
Then I go to the city.

Awhile here
Awhile there.

Back & forth.

‘..i’d never hurt you or mean you any harm…I wouldn’t wanna lose your love’

April wine in October
not the cruellest month

cruella

I’m freezing
But I just saw

The bad side of the moon
I mean
The good side.

Period.


Been walking in the pitch black kootenay night with perfect diamond stars and cold dark shadows of evergreens coming up the hill. All shadows and listening to the cave singers almost crying choked up and wondering is some crazed axe murderer gonna bust out of the woods ? or will a black momma bear cross my path again and i won't hear anything for the Lindsey Buckingham-like music loud cocoon in my ears blocking out all other sound. Dangereux, I know. But I am not afraid of being afraid. Nor is yoko.

Or fear.

A frayed not.

Turning mold into gold

and a
Fam dam

Saturday, October 4, 2008

hawk wind

Scar-Jo. who likes Scar-jo? not me.
that's hawkwind above. i'm in the kootenays still. it's pretty here. fall. i see del dettmar at the coffee shop every morning. he's the third from the left. synth player. go figure. he plays the ancient game of GO every morning with a pal. japan claimed the game. who doesn't claim the game?
i took my favourite picture i've ever taken a few weeks ago on the drive up here. it's a nicely home-made pink ice cream cone billboard (in the shape of a cone) HUGE with dessert/mountain landscape on the last summer fall day. i mean 'desert'. This was all driving thru the interior of BC.
i promise i'll write more soon.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

is freaking Ready For Love/LISA SMOLKIN'S ART


"Cock Sucker". this is one of my favourites.
7,000 pieces of art. quiety amassed over the last decade. by lisa kim smolkin.not even kidding.

punky brewster shoes
There's Lisa holding a photograph i took of her 7 or 8 years ago. 2000..or quite possibly 1998..it was one of those toronto trips for me. Hard to say when. Her room was so good at that time: bunk bed, children's vanity with a tiny pic of isaac brock wearing an amish-type hat taped to the mirror, a console, a few records: notable Heart's LITTLE QUEEN album, her ballet warm-up leotard crucified to the wall.

Gold. "there's people out there/turning music into gold"...'those california girls/are the greatest in the world/each one a song in the making/they're singing right to me/i can hear their melody/their story is there for the taking..." I'm obsessed with that song right now. It's an obscure 80s hit by Jon Stewart and Stevie Nicks. It's called GOLD.


Dr. Hauschka

woah way too much bad company today..the band, that is. you know...'ready for love, woah baby i'm ready for love...'
i've been dee-elling music. stealing music off the internet. vancouver does this me. it's all music all the time. i've been riding tammy's nishiki all over the city - in the brutal bad v-city traffic (fools on cel phones/fools who don' t know how to drive) w/ earbuds plugged in. This neat guy i know who lives in tokyo said he'd ride his bike thru a 5-lane intersection in the absolute HEART of tokyo - quite possibly the most dangerous place in the world listening to music super cranked - not a care in the world.
nary a care.
i was inspired.
carrie was playing at a revue theatre the other night. i was so tired i felt like i was on acid and obvs couldn't go w/ ted bois. sad face. maybe my last opportunity to see it on a huge screen. haven't ever done that.

if it was raining everyday here - it would suck real bad. even though i invested in world's greatest rain gear.

i'm clearing out.
it's okay.
but it's sad
all the same.

i'm very sorry for the time lapse. i've been re-configuring. i'm going thru changes. That sabbath song is one of the sadder ones.

I got to see Hello, Blue Roses last night. I'm a lucky camper. Sydney Hermant and Daniel Bejar. Sweetheart duo. Sweetheart duo with a new baby GLORIA. I've been staying w/ them all week while i'm going thru changes/ay yeah...It's life affirming to hang out with a functioning family. Wow. People actually do it.

I know lots of people who do it. It's just nice to be around it alot.

Anyways, the show was GREAT. Sydney played flute jethro tulle style and whistled and played guitar and shook a shaker in the shape of a skull (purple) and sang in her beautiful soprano. I love their album. It's one of my favourites of the last year. Their harmonies together. Dan does these cool bows after each song. Super wicked.

Right now they are downstairs making dalle. I'm doing super boring admin stuff in my fake office. I'm doing everything BUT work on this grant deadline. whoops.

oh well.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Mushroom Studio

this is katie bethune leaman's beautiful mushroom studio. she graciously let me do a mini-residency here at the sculpture park near St. James' cathedral. i know it's gross to show a bunch of photos of oneself but who else is gonna do it? fountainhead style. besides, this is all about the mushroom which is so special. it felt heavenly to sit inside and do some work.
all photos by: T. Marcel Bois. Thank you, Ted.
i'm very concerned about the polar bears. Sea Of Tea, for you.
working hard or hardly lurking? doodling 'babe, you've got the love/i like'. guess who.
Majeur de Poseur




ps happy birthday, grandpa. i'm glad your heart surgery went well, pig's valve and all.
i'm listening to jimi hendrix
also...the MUSHROOM studo..in vancouver there lives the famous Mushroom Studios where HEART recorded all their dope albums.

basement studio with monster hiding in the corner

basement studio with monster hiding in the corner

Ahlers

going on about Random Avenue, friends, art (maybe), rock (sometimes), movies, current events, childhood memories & other things like bunnies