"even a palace can be a prison"

(i'm trying to save some time so i'm 'publishing' this email i wrote to one of my favourite penpal friends..since dawn of time..and then i just turn it into a blog entry. anyways.....)

hi SC

i hope you got some breathing in.
i know all about that. (eg page from forthcoming 'selves': DEEP BREATHS ALWAYS RELAXED HER)
what are the galleries you have to interview @?

'fake it till you make it'

'i fake it so real/i am beyond fake'

(i still dont unnerstand that hole lyric. nor do i care to)

i just saw 'young victoria'. it was splendid. nothing & i mean NOTHING bad happens*.
she and prince albert GENUINELY were in heart/love.

i realize that i sat thru the whole movie waiting for something bad to happen.

well. he does (spoiler alert) DIE. but not in the movie. and of course she dies, too. but not till her 80s.
he died at 42 of typhoid fever.

which is why it is 'splendid' (that he didn't die in the movie. maybe all the bad stuff happens later)

they had NINE CHILDREN*. 9! all with splendid names like helena, louise, arthur, alfred, alice, leopold, beatrice and so forth.

here's my favourite piece of information:

Reflecting back into her childhood, Victoria was always prone to self pity. On Dec. 14th 1861 Albert died from typhoid fever at Windsor Castle. Victoria remained in self-imposed seclusion for ten years. This genuine, but obsessive mourning kept her occupied for the rest of her life and played an important role in the evolution of what would become the Victorian mentality.

Growing up in Victoria, I was brainwashed by images of this queen. My impressions were of her twilight years. She always looked miserable to me.

Now I know why.

(been watching some lady gaga. That is a fun video in a Prisoner: Cell Block H way/i dunno..clockwork orange/tarantino-ESQUE. too obvs?).

PS!!! WEIRD!! this JAIL motif is playing itself out over and over! (see previous blog entry)..so that video..and then I watched 'I've Loved You So Long' which about a sister who is released from prison..for uh..murder...it's a beautiful movie. unfolds so perfectly. HIGHLY recommend...also..in 'young victoria' she says, "even a palace can be a prison". I keep thinking about jail. just thinking.
also..thinking about AUSTRALIA nonstop (& about 5,000 other things)

Interesting Fact: an average person has 20,000 thoughts per day. 90% of which are useless.

*i forgot. he does take a bullet for her. (albert for victoria). my bad, s'all good. he doesn't die.