Forcing

That is artist Brooke Nechvatel's incredible watercolour text piece. It's tiny: 3"X3". She really knows how to handle a brush and move the paint. I wish i had a website to direct you to...you can facebook 'er! Brooke has done alot of amazing illustration for me. I am indebted to her...she did alot of work for my Fatal Distraction book. She's the kind of artist who just doodles masterpieces while she's watching, say, Welcome To The Dollhouse. "Yeah..that tooks 3 minutes", she shrugs.

Last night i was digitally sending out via Yousendit.com the "In Defense Of Brit Brit" collaboration with Lisa Smolkin for the "Gossip" issue of Kiss Machine when there was suddenly a BLACKOUT. I love it...i had just written out:

I love Britney's album 'Blackout'. The best song of this week is "Break the Ice".

I was in the dark for several hours but insisted on staying up late - as i am apt to do b/c old habits die very hard. I force myself to stay up. Forcing. The extended daylight here in Whitemare, Yukon is throwing me off. I love that it is light out till 11 pm and look forward to taking photos during the "Midnight Sun" but because the light gives off so much energy, it's hard to wind down at night...it must be why everyone is so active up here...running around outdoors all day to burn themselves out..i'm finding myself doing the same thing. Soon I'll be out playing Ultimate in the street. Sweet gee.

During this BLACKOUT, I threw the I Ching and hit the jackpot - the final hexagram which is 64 "Before the End" which is basically rebirth. The lights suddenly came on. I looked at the clock and it read 2:07am which is a minute before I was born on September 24, 1971. "Before the End" is ominous sounding but the oracle likens it to just before you hit the top of the mountain.
The I Ching is 5,000 years old. It is the oldest book in the world and also my favourite.
I use pennies that my auntie Diane gave me for my 30th (hell year) birthday. She took the time to choose all pennies from 1971 (awesome year).

My fingertips are finally callousing up from re-teaching myself guitar. This is satsifying. I've been watching Kristin Hersh on Youtube. I especially enjoy her live solo acoustic performances. I love watching her play the guitar. She plays like a solid lady would..not like some idiot dude dork noodling all over up and down the neck..and it leaves me saying: 'whaaaaaa?' Kristin has been playing since she was 9 years old and started writing songs shortly thereafter. She started the Throwing Muses at age 14 with her half-sister. They were hugely popular with the critics. They were a force - circling tornadoes of fury and sound. I have never heard anything like it. Her '94 solo album Hips and Makers is one of my top 10. I've had two autographed copies. The only autograph i have ever requested in my life. That album snapped me out of my electronic music phase back when me and my friends threw raves/or as we insisted on calling them: PARTIES (e. 90s). These parties allowed me to dance for 8 hours in a row, which suited me just fine. During this time, I forced a friend to drive me to seattle from victoria in his red TR6 convertible. We got to the show and it was sold out. I was crying outside the venue watching industry losers on the patio not even listening to the music. Eventually they let me in so i could purchase a disc..that's when i first met her and i told her, 'we just drove 7 hours to get here (ferry ride included)". She has those otherwordlyEYES. I have seen them before..Miranda July has them..they are all-seeing and pure clear blue. Kristin was apologetic - for no reason!...so sweet and way too sensitive.
I finally got to see her play two years later. There were little posters up in the venue asking 'please don't smoke/Kristin is pregnant'. It was one of those shows. I sat on the floor of the Starfish Room in Vancouver bawling. It was the type of weeping where you can't get a grip on yourself and you're shuddering and wracked and embarrassed. My friend Darin Klein told me he did that once at a proper sit-down DEAD CAN DANCE show. I laughed my head off when he told me years after the fact - not because i thought it was funny - but because i could relate and my brain went to my KH memory...just one of my typical knee-jerk reactions that makes everyone wonder why i laugh at 'everything'. You gotta laugh to keep from crying.