MEXIcola- like a lollipop

Ghetto Leg. Home Decor. Did I or did I not say 'rustic'? Welcome to Mexico !

this is where i slept on the last night. this is Don't treehouse. the 'bed swing' was slightly askew so i felt like i was falling slightly to my right all night. i pretty much wrote an entire screenplay in my dreams. an epic novel. EPIC. Don said at one point he looked down from his perch on top of the treehouse and the bed was doing slow donuts. ya i felt that.
top view. i was coming down with my major head cold and was hopped up on 'mexican medicine'

side view of don's rad 'Pimp Station Treehouse'

the view when i woke up. see, that 'bed' i was sleeping on..i was basically RIGHT beside the jungle trail. i prayed for no prey to pray on me in my sleep.

This is a rock. i love rocks. i left my rock collection in the yukon. i keep rocking. Yelapa is a crazy 45 minute speedboat ride from Puerto Vallarta.

Hidden treasure Yelapa beach!

dogs, dogs everywhere! they would silently sit themselves next to your beach 'bed'. they'd be sitting there for 20 minutes before you knew. they were waiting. i've never met such quiety dogs. like vapours. this one is for darce. she likes to take pics of her dog's paws. this guy's are prehistoric!

these are my paws. this is pretty much the view i looked at for...hours on end. one day i mustered up enough energy to drag my 'beach chaise lounge bed' into the shade. i did paint my toenails red.

this was my favourite lil kid. he was from france. he was always doing something adorable. he has blonde curly hair like a lil cherub. his mom and grandma were nice.

this is charlie the star of the island. ok so i'm at the DISCO and there's this bassett hound cruising the dance floor. i'm all: whose dog is this? he was weaving around, milling about, hanging. 'oh, that's charlie - he just lives here'. ya. this dog just HANGS OUT. someone said he's the 'old fag of the beach'. CHARLIE UPDATE! he has his own website! Here you can learn a lil bit more about YELAPA!

Chuckles living the life.

Clearly, Charlie has more important things to do.

Princess Stella and me half awake/half dead. Good thing Stella's blonde bangs are slightly sweeping into my hair. it was Bad Hair Everyday. Nothing ever dried. I came home with a suitcase of damp dirty clothes and sand and a wet passport (which i almost forgot to pack). Stella found me a copy of the new David Sedaris book and i said, 'i love you'.

Baby Liposuction. The children are having the most fun. it was like watching TV. Thanks, babies!

Thank the lord for an overcast day cos if there wasn't - i'd be in the hospital with 5th degree burns. damn did i get burned!

a beautiful fresh water pool to jump into after being in the super salty ocean

the pool, too. i like to jump into cold water. it takes me 10-15 minutes of standing there working up the courage but it's always worth it. i'm slow. i like the shock.

views from Don's. Ok so Don has been in Yelapa for 17 yrs. He is 64 years old. What a great guy! we stayed at Don's.

my favourite team

welcome to the jungle love!

don johnson's front yard. those copper pipes/rigging are to diffuse the 'chemtrails'. don's into that conspiracy theory. he has lemon, mandarin and avocado trees and clothing lines and towels that never ever dry. i understand why people lie on the beach all day: to dry out and prep for the next 14 hrs of DAMP

elisa rose stopping on the trail. ok so Don's rustic hideaway is a 20-25 minute hike up a MOUNTAIN. in the daytime it is WORK. Hard Work. At nighttime it is double time and a half. At nighttime in PITCHBLACK whilst drunk on mexican moonshine (raicilla) using a cel phone flashlight is total kamikaze. Don said he's crawled up it on all fours. Stella did the trip barefooted with NO flashlight. she said she manifested 'no scorpions'. that friggin hike. i almost blew out my knee one night, begging the others to SLOW DOWN. slipping/skating across rocks in my useless converse. up and down and up and down. elisa would play tunes from her cel phone/ walkman. we sang along to kanye under the beautiful starry night. i felt like i was in army boot camp training for Friday Night Lights and it was GREAT.

lalalala down the mountain

there's Don! Don Johnson. Don Juan. Alla that. He's so cool.

Mystical Rose

27 is still my favourite number. these are some gangster friends. they are nice. dancing is fun. that tube top was the only thing i could wear to accomodate my burns.

some fool's lost birkenstock @ The Yacht Club. where'd the other one? where's the fool? we'll never know

lisa kehler said, 'there's a fairy on you!' that's the sweetest thing ever! i would love that! we were playing with flashlights at my favourite restaurant: Tacos En Masse. I had the best fooooooood. And Dina made margaritas. The sea salt there is something else. I brought a big container home with me. People work for tips (shakes head).

Gilligan's Island but with electricity. Rustic bachelor paddin' it. I pretty much slept outside (under netting). I love to sleep outside. It felt very LOST.

best for last. money shot. this joke went on for hours. we'd been having a discussion about those things...a debate. dear prudence, won't you come out and play-hey hey hey?



it's truly hard to believe i was in mexico 10 days ago. now i am back in WINTER. i wore my summer clothes to the airport and all the way back to minus 12. it was funny. i didn't get home till 4am. i learned that at the airport going to a fun place like mexico means that everyone is happy! i wanted to be wearing a sombrero the whole flight. on the way home people were grumpy. Don told me to call in "WELL" (not 'sick' even though I was sick with a 'stress release' cold). They all told me to extend my trip: stay! stay! I learned a valuable lesson: never plan a winter get-away for seven days. that is just stupid. 10 minimum. 14 days to three months maximum. Six months a year ideal. But try, try, try if you can to go away to somewhere tropical and beautiful in the winter time.