Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Three New Pieces Of Art

Lucas wanted to see the "Boyle" i got for my birthday. It's a pencil sketch study of Michael J. Fox from 1985. Thanks Shareballs! She's up for the Sobey Award this year (canadian art olympics. sort of). So please put your hands together in prayer (and clapping, high fives low fives) for her to win cause she deserves it! lady artists rule the world. it's not a v. good view but u get the gist. u get the gist that i dont hv time. Selena Wong did the tiny delicate gouache bunny!! i love it. it was a birthday gift. i'm very lucky (the blue bunny was uploaded as CMYK.whoops. everything on this computer is getting every image ready for PRINT. regardless, i like blue bunnies. i had a stuffed one as a kid and i left it out in the yard and my dad got mad and ripped the ears off in some fit of rage. hazy. i used to leave my toys out in the yard near my hide-away in a hedge. i made a house in there). Selena's my intern. we have lots of fun! mostly goof off. she's helping me with my book. she's a genius (look at her website!!!). she's helping me with the puzzle. she put one image together the other day - a lil illo of a girl in the rain - kinda holly hob - and Selena placed her (via ye old photoshop) into a jar of honey surrounded by stacks of other honey. i started crying when i saw it. other times i'm crying b/c i'm laughing so hard. she stays up late like i do so we email late at night while we're both parked at the computer.

and a beautiful compass pencil drawing by Alissa Coe. This drawing is v. faint and it is hard to see. apologies to the chef. i will scan it later!! promise.

an incredible tryipdych!

ps my book is killing me at this point. i am sick of my art killing me (of letting it. my fault). i cant even listen to music b/c it's too distracting. i sit in complete silence trying to BOOK it. as in: haul ass b/c it HAS TO END. my brain is in major multi-task overload (cos i'm so good @ it :))*
(get it? END...behind....). that's the probz w/ collage: INFINITE POSSIBILITY.

this is why i'm going back to the yukon. too many distractions. i have a few projects to finish up there. can't wait! so yes. i'm leaving toronto. breaking up is getting easier and easier.

i may be incoherent right now
*PS double brackets/smileys/emoticons/dbl brackets=chin resting upon other chin

(i think that was a pome)

PPS Peeve of the Week: when people say IRREGARDLESS
(actually more like peeve of the decade)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


See that man? I feel like i have that bundle of sticks on my back. i keep wanting to go as him for halloween but i keep forgetting (Read: can't be bothered. Read: dont want to dress up like man, either. Read: I dont like halloween).
i want that sticker.
this song is always the soundtrack.
(probably since i was a teen and i saw the kiefer sutherland/winona ryder movie: 1969 and i went out and bought the tape and drove around listening to it. Nothing has really changed. looking back, unfortunately, the movie is a hunk of junk but it made an impression on my would-like-to-be-late-60s mind-born-the-wrong-time. If i was born at the right time, I'd be a Boomer now. How'd you like them apples? Plus I'd be almost done! PLUS i could start selling off all my properties. Or no. Wait. I'd wait just a lil longer...what was i thinking? giving away all my boomer secrets!

(RE 'vid'. who are these amazing people who sit around all day (@ work . no doubt. The Office) making these PHOTO MONTAGES? In this instance the credit reads: Creative: Coloradream. Ya.
gd. it must take forever. good thing they're getting paid while they're doing it. I tried office work after high school and it just didn't stick. Perhaps i should re-think this. Then I could sit around and make these vidz all day AND get paid!! I bet Creed* from The Office(US) does that).

'can't find my way home' by blind faith is a very good song. i like anything haunted. take up a few notches to a great lyric:

'i'm wasted/and i/can't find my way home'.

And you have a masterpiece.

*Creed. best character and name on TV ever. Favourite expression: "Cool beans!"

Monday, September 28, 2009


hey! it's kris kristofferson! o i get it. it was such a good movie b/c they were IN LOVE! perfection.
let's make this movie like a lady would! Martin Scores - hardly working or working hard? Who's his ladyfriend running the show?
i really needed to put these 2 images together

i really love this image. there is some killer photography in Jennifer's Body.
I want to know who has my phone.
I just wrote a pal (dr. skipper) that i feel like Jennifer in jennifer's body after she becomes a succubus/demon and she's in "Needy's" kitchen in the middle of the night & she projectiles all that black vile black blood. I wrote: i wish i could throw up all of that negativity inside of me.

it's a day where you ask: What Am I Doing Wrong?
(cause you KNOW there's a gathering around assessing and summizing the sitch..of what she's doing wrong).
when some things are right but most things are So Very, Very Wrong.

of course these things turn themselves around quickly, efficiently.

if i had the time/energy i'd write a book report/movie review about J's Bod...but i dont have the articulation skills. I will say - i did enjoy it and i was laughing most of the way thru. There was a part of me that wanted it over and done with so i could get on with my life. It wasn't one of those movies you wish would never end. My pal I went with, Emily, was beside me with her ears plugged. I kept turning to her, 'are you okay?' She did get up once or twice to go stand outside. She says she was brought up by her strict feminist mother in a house where there was no horror and NO SUGAR. I grew up in a house where i'd hang out w/ my dad and he'd rewind a scene from Dawn Of The Dead 25 times in a row laughing maniacally. C'mon, dad! It was a scene in which a zombie is getting its head blown off and CLEARLY it is a watermelon. Excellent effects). I grew up in a house begging my mother to let me stay up late to watch Carrie with her on TV. Age 7? 8? 'no bloody way!' I'd sneak down regardless and watch wide-eyed, transfixed, crouched behind the pantry door. I was stealth and sneaky.

There is alot to say about that movie. alot alot alot. (jezebel who has since turned dubious b/c NO ONE can agree).

I will say this: i RAN to the theatre to see miranda july's 'me, you and everyone we know'. I was dying to see what she had made - being a huge awestruck fan of her earlier work. It left me hollow. I still dont know how i feel about it. i find it interesting to note that boys really love this movie. that tells me that these boys who love this movie (and M.July) are sensitive. This is a good sign. To be frank, I found the movie annoying b/c i think we can do better. There needs to be more movies by women and better movies by women...not just cutesy anomalies.

A young filmmaker and i were talking over the weekend about her current favourite movie: Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974). This is a martin score-say-see/seas movie and it's like...a woman made it. we talked about this. we came to the conclusion that the reason it is so ladylike/feminine is because Ellen Burstyn was driving the truck. THIS is what needs to happen. Martin let her do what she needed to do and she was a force to be reckoned with. There needs to be a thousand more movies like this (a year) till the end of time.

The wind was blowing so fiercely i swear there was a large godlike man in the sky blowing cheeks puffed out blowing in another hurricane. Hurricane Darcy. I dont know what letter they are at in the alphabet right now. cant keep track. i had ear plugs in and it woke me. HOWLING. I think this is why my phone is gone. It's called : domino effect. It is not an Excellent Effect.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

"The Dude"

The Dude. kris kristofferson. played it to perfection. i mean, jeff bridges. Figure A. "DUDE". Male. Dude. NOT female. Ladies - do you want to be called 'dude'?
I think not.
so these PANTS are called ZUBAZ. i'll never forget the day my co-worker's fiance told me The Name of These Pants. Thank you, Moses! (his name). The Dude wears these pants.

here The Dude is picking up some milk for his favourite alcoholic beverage. What is it? A Brown Cow. No. A White Russian. The perfect drink to slip a rufi into. "She'll never know!" -Random Dude.

I'm still working on working up to figuring out a way to abolish the word 'dude'. I know i can't. You wanna know why? Cos there are way too many dudes. It's wishful thinking...but i can wishfully think that people will stop calling ladies "DUDES". C'MON!

Don't get me wrong - i heart dudes. I heart dudes as much as i luv ZUBAZ.

thank you to Mel/Demo Derby for posting THIS!!!! The Inspiration! People are amazing.
This genius lady figured out the pattern for "The Dude's" sweater. Now I grew up on Vancouver Island back when everyone called them "Indian Sweaters". I know. Dude. This is more of a celtic/vaguely santa fe vibe. Whatever it is - it is globally transcendant. (i just made that up. i dont know what that means. i am procrastinating. i am sposed to be working on my book).
o ya. jennifer's body was fun!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

gearing up for Jennifer's Body

i'm having an anxiety attack still. i bought GABA for 'clarity and focus'. i asked the naturopath to recommend sumthing and she suggested this product.
BUT i read the bottle and it's for STRESS and nervous system.

hm. chronic stress.
it's a natural factors product: chewable/tropical flavour. tastes like a banana scratch n sniff. ( i just twittered that. how dumb. i'm trying to spread the word. i'm trying to help others. like me).

i still dont have much of a plan for my actual bday.

diablo is interesting right now (to follow. on twitter). her sugar scene seems to be out of control and she's going on about rollercoasters (researching online in and amongst the maelstrom of Jennifer's Body. she even made the connection on twitter that her life parallels the rollercoaster w/ it's UPS and DOWNS. DUH), baking toll house cookies, driving miles to stand in line for cupcakes, sample tweet:

"Phone rang just as I was reaching for a pint of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. Had to take call. Now have confectionary blue balls"

doesn't she realize that that kind of sugar is akin to crack?
..i guess that is how she deals w/ stresss. so much presss for jennifer's body! it's wild! lucas twitters. he went ahead and read the script. noted that much much of the dialogue was removed. he says it is more like a fairy tale. lucas is smart.


Saw "Jennifer's Body" w/ John. Probably my fav movie of the year so far.

NO! "Jennifer's Body" only did $2.7M on Friday. GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!

Read "Jennifer's Body" screenplay this morning. Movie cut out a bunch of dialogue; proof that direction & casting totally made it a success.

Story and focus on character is what really makes "Jennifer's Body" different. Ambiguity, absence of cliches & not relying on genre

Visuals of "Jennifer's Body" were excellent: amazing set pieces, detailed close up shots, and never attracting attention to itself.

Anne Thompson on the poor marketing of "Jennifer's Body": "neither a horror thriller for men, nor a coming-of-age horror-comedy for women"

AT again: Studio "aimed marketing @ men who like Megan Fox, but girls don’t want 2 see her." The movie is clearly made 4 a female audience.

It's a hard movie to spin. I object to the trailers making it look like a high-school movie. It's closer to a fairy tale than anything else.

Lucas writes great tweets. Tweetie bird! You can find him at 'Found Alive'.

she (DC) and i have a few things in common: a love of rollercoasters and a love of horror. let's do the math. childhood=horror movie and mood swings = rollercoaster.

However, i do not eat sugar.
this is torture. it's true. When i do eat sugar/fall off the sugar mountain band wagon - i pay the price. i pay and pay and pay. I fall off. When I do, it's hard.

but truly. i really do like her (DC). she's alot of fun. she has good juju. (what the beep is 'juju'? is it mojo? she's got the good vibrations..but she isn't very healthy. i'll tell you that much for free). But. she is still young.

in honour of diablo - i think i will go see JENNIFER'S BODY on my birthday.

i wonder when 'diablo' is going to drop that rockabilly first nickname? dontcha think she should? she already has a full-on new haircut (bleached blonde/shortie). New Look.

o and of course courtney (aka CLTRANSLATED) tweeted:

DO YOU MIND @diablocody? If you're gonna name your movie after my song could you at least footnote me a little in the press?

is this a joke? doubtful. She is so totally out of hand these days. it's nauseating. i cant stand her all over again. She can take a hike.

PS. if you hit the 'rollercoaster' link you are in for a sweet surprise. My mom and i had a brief laundermat stint in the late 80s. I think our machine at home broke down (temporarily). We had to go to the ESQUIMALT PLAZA to do laundry. I'd drive her over in my beige volkswagon Rabbit. We'd hang out there. It was a laundro/video rental combo PLUS PINBALL. It was there that i read my first SASSY magazine. (What stood out to me most Sassywise was the coloured text on black background. like coloured chalk. it was mesmerizing. all of it). It was there i found WILD RIDES. Matt Dillon is so very, very passionate about..wild rides.
of course we also played pinball. those are some Good Times memories!

I want to go on a world tour of rollercoasters and waterfalls.


fun times. me and bunny sophie need a haircut so very badly. actually sophie is more coiffed than i'll ever be.

i got to meet an angora bunny at the farmer's market last week. she's a beloved pet. it got me thinking. i want a beloved. pet. very much. it's been too long.

moving right along....

yes that day was a banner day. i got to have lunch w/ leanne who was visiting from Berlin. we met awhile back. what a lovely girl. she has the world's biggest tattoo of 'sonjaart' on her arm. fortunately i knew about it long in advance before i actually met her. if i had, say, bumped into her on the street and saw that, i might've had some kind of cardiac arrest/fainted. i don't know. a surrealist moment AT LEAST. i woulda went home and started up some tripped out dali art.

there's digression. hanging out w/ leanne helped me connect some dots. as it turns out her sister JENNA is the girl who handwrote me a letter oh so many years ago. 12, 13, 14, 15? telling me that she liked my art and what it meant to her. It was a teenage written letter with rounded script on 'binder paper'. it arrived at the perfect moment and to this day means so much to me. i have it tucked in a clear plastic sheet as a reminder.

i went and saw a Fleetwood Mac cover band last nite. . FLEETWOOD NICKS. I was quite dubious so i went online and did some research before i committed. i didn't want to see any hipster irony. NONE. There was none. I need not have worried. They were perfection. Late 40s/early 50s fronted by 'NICKS' as though she were re-writing history(uhh.herstory) cos maybe NICKS should've fronted The Mac for reals. Doesn't matter. She went on to be STEVIE. There was a single crazy Superfan dancing up a storm. Apparently she arrived wasted/arrived pumped so it kinda went from there. She had some incredible moves in her polar fleece. Sitting and watching a cover band lets your imagination run wild: "What do these people do all day?", "What are their day jobs?". We suspect NICKS is an aerobics instructor/personal trainer. She has the pipes and is very fit. 'Christine McVie' aka 'Crazy Eyes' was the other focal point in the coverband. The large-ish bass player wearing mirror shades was a bit obscured by 'Mick' and 'Stevie'. "Mick" looked a bit iggy pop/grizzled and was also pulling off a Tom Petty. In real life, Stevie is an honorary Heartbreaker. If they really knew their material, they would've done a Led Zep cover b/c Stevie Nicks (Welch Witch) loves to do 'rock 'n' roll' live.

FLEETWOOD NICKS is also available for weddings.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

THE KICK INSIDE/all the people who've died died

i just found out today - whilst listening to the completely crappy 'ontario today' on cbc - that jim carroll died. sheesh people. quit dying! he was only 60. He had a heart attack. on september 11.he's famous for his writing and songs. he wrote a song:


i've always thot it was a cool song. there's a lil leo di caprio.

he looked so scary in recent photos - as though a stricken ghost skeleton. i dont know what happened. I'm sad for him.

so people die and people are born.
my friend ayumi sent me this image today. the baby foot pressing. let's celebrate life!
(while we still can).
and that's jim with patti smith.

ps i made the mistake of looking at pics of that lady w/ EXTREME plastic surgery the other day. i'm never gonna get it out of my head. she says 'plastic surgery gives her confidence'. you know the one. proceed with caution. or: dont bother at all. or: just dont go there.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

i should probably get these. i think i need these. kickn it legit.

aren't these nuts? if they weren't made by CAPEZIO, i may not have looked twice but....ya. there's a POCKET. i could PUT SH*T in that pocket!

dont know why i'm obsessed w/ jean jackets right now. i want a small-sized one that's really old/faded. Now i know why people stone and acid get that effect. run them over with their car. beat them with a bat. throw their jean jacket. stomp it.

i've been going to way too many thrift stores/buy-the-pound places.

it can get gross. now i'm done. what a time waster! it's worse than project runway!

but i got some neat things...even though things bother me. unless they are great things. special things. (like those booooots). like ANGORA. ya. high five to me. high five in the mirror. finally found some. now the world can have more bunnies. i'm thrilled. ya. real thrilled.

WOAH ALERT newsflash!! awesome art: Amy Yao
thanks to 'kathleen's blog' .See list on right and go there. Avert your eyes to the right. Her blog is great.

i want to complain about my day. but i won't. but i will. you know those kind. like a charlie brown day. he complains about it. i want to complain about it. like arguing on the phone with my bank for half an hour about FEES and CHARGES. WHERE do they come from? i complained so hard, i got a fairly large fee waived. big. all you have to say is that someone else (staff member/associate) told me/you otherwise. of course this is all the truth. i swear. i'm no lying sheister. the total opposite. i can't lie to save my life/out of a wet paperbag. but honest. Thanks banks! credit cards and cel phone companies. fees. hidden. hiding. dinging you every possible opportunity. as an artist, i dont get to do this. if i was a corporation or an institution, i could set up fees and rules and mandates that protected me at every angle. so that every precious second of my time was compensated. no bumps. like full body gear.

so i say FIGHT IT. they get to have all their dumb rules. we get to have ours. we just make them up as we go along.

that's what i do.

just ask to 'speak to a supervisor'.

i'm sure there is a red star by my name. everywhere. blackballed. A List.

thanks for comments, lovely ladies. luv you. i wouldnt be doing ANY OF THIS if it weren't for you (art, books, books, art..this thing, being alive) i'm serious. there's no other reason.

PS i did not get those above boots. they're for sale on etsy..somewhere. if you got them, you could put a note in the pocket. for someone that you like and then when you saw them you could put your boot up on a table/chair (jerri blank style) and slide the note out of the pocket of the jean boot.

PS have been listening to awesomely depressing-yet-uplifting UNWOUND. man. they play it. some of those guitar sounds perfectly emulate the sh*tty vibe of a teenager's 'sunday feeling'. Or maybe an adult's 'end of summer' feeling...on a sunday...with a book deadline..and said book scattered all over the entire house & twittering about that. 'make it stop'. i hate being a perfectionist. i want a whole-hearted trusted Art Partner to take the papers away from me & leave. WHERE ARE YOU????

Monday, September 7, 2009

i love comments

ask & receive/blah blah believe

ted bois sent me the photo he took i was describing prior. thanks teddy bois!

the destroyer picture. it's astonishingly beautiful.

here's my favourite song of the week. thanks to elisa rose for karaoke-ing it. she did good. she knows good music (DJ Grannymasherflash). note: the video for this song is really dumb so here's the karaoke version. lil wayne's on it, too. he is someone you dont want to look at too closely. i swear every single time a car drove past me this summer w/ bass thumping - it was always lil wayne. always. it made me laugh. i like some of his music fo'sure. egomania.

trying to get everyone on

i just started. i have 3 songs? i was trying to get new neko case but didn't get very far. i'm so behind. i need new music! i can only listen to STYX so many times. (jokes).

alrite. am project runway crackhead now. what are we going to call this in 5-10 years? the phenomenom of watching episode after episode after episode. many, many people do this (except probably not madonna. world class control freak). i like to use the excuse that 'i'm working'.

i had heard about P.R. before, obvs, but thot it sounded boring. fashion can bore me - like nobody i know wears those clothes. where do you wear those clothes to? to the grocery store? a boring poetry reading? that's my reality. a bunch of egomaniacs making stuff. i am, however, in awe of anyone who can pull it off: MAKE CLOTHES. the architecture of textiles. BUT!!! this show!! i love this show. watching people work/watching their creative process even fr a goofball's standpoint @ a laptop - it's better than art school. i'm learning alot. it's very inspiring. i especially love how they just go for it. Now that's inspiring! (said in jerri blank/afterschoolspecial lesson learned voice).

Saturday, September 5, 2009

R.I.P./Remember Her?/Who Saw Her Die?

Rest in peace!!!

you no longer exist.

i let my website die last week. it was a bit scary. i don't have my back-up! just this.

that site name was really getting on my nerves. any time anyone asked me 'what's your website?' i'd kinda cringe and mutter the name w/ a smirk/mutter.

i dont know why MY NAME wasn't used in the first place. I think b/c i didn't like the two 'A's in the middle: Sonjaahlers

now i dont care. now i like it.

for some strange reason some people have a hard time standing behind their own name (@ certain points in their life).

Favourite Thing Of Week: GIALLOS

That 'wiki' link is a great source with lots of titles listed. Incredible 70s Italian 'horror' cinema. Here is my favourite link for WHO SAW HER DIE?
INCREDIBLE aesthetics.
The elderly lady killer (who you dont see) wears black lace netting over her face and there are genius (hilarious) camera shots w/ that netting over the lens. Brilliant. Granny boots stepping silently down cement stairs. Syringes. Fake blood. Children's chorus. You name it. If i had the money, resources, time, crew etc - I'd make trailers like this. That's all you need. In fact, i think all of my work is a trailer. The kernel, the seed. I'm still a cherry picker at the soccer game.

Here is a slightly more creepy extended trailer of WHO SAW HER DIE?
Which has echoes of LET THE RIGHT ONE IN.
Basically this movie was made while i was in my mother's tummy so I must've picked up the waves from across the lands.

it's a beautiful day. now that summer is over - all i want to do is go to the beach - which is what i'm doing. all i want to do is ride my bike by the lake.

the above photo is me (sanjay antlers) working in a studio that also no longer exists...from 2006? ted bois took the photo. he also took the new photos for the new Destroyer album (which i've yet to see ! Out Of IT! but i think/hope sydney's sending me a copy soon). I was also told by ted's gfriend that ted did the whole 'b' side of just-released single. Also would like to hear!

oh. so new website is:

but there's only a 'coming soon' image.

jason's making it. One of the more unusual people i've ever met.

basement studio with monster hiding in the corner

basement studio with monster hiding in the corner


going on about Random Avenue, friends, art (maybe), rock (sometimes), movies, current events, childhood memories & other things like bunnies